Inspirational Poems

Inspiration: there are no words to describe this, It's a feeling, a push, To the right direction, You give me inspiration, That motivation, To do things I wouldn't have, To explore the unknown, Which I fear, Helping me understand there is more, Than what's offered, Inspiration...leading me to the positive, Not the negative, Revealing things in a new light, Something I needed to see, Thank u so much, It was what I needed to discover 'me' ...

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If u think u are beaten, you are. If you think u dare not, you don't. If you'd like to win but think you can't, It's almost certain you won't. Life's battles don't always go To the stronger or faster man, But sooner or later, the man who wins Is the man who thinks he can...



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We mst be silent before we can listen, We mst listen before we can learn. We mst learn before we can prepare, We mst prepare before we can serve, We mst serve before we can lead.



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In a world full of hate & despair where do you turn when all else seems as if it is crumbling beneath you. It relates to, as if you were trapped in a crushing tide where everything is out of ur control. No way to get back to the shore or touch the ocean floor to give you a push for freedom. No matter how hard you try. You simply keep getting lost in the never ending tide.



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Darkness dat lies deep inside of me.
Come forth in all thy mystery.

Show me thy gaze.
Teach me thy ways.

Dat I a better person may be.
Luv dat lies deep inside of me.

Come forth in all thy unity.
Let me be thy gaze.

Let me teach thy ways.
Dat I a better person may be.




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In the wake of yawning decadence,
In the arms of dreadful pestilence.

In the eyes of hopeless impudence,
Fearless Thou shalt be!

Wen the time is ripe 2 cast the sword.
Wen the time is prime 2 spread the word,

Wen evil's ugly head is reared,
Fearless Thou shalt be!

Wen it's time 2 do the best things right,
Wen it's time 2 hold ur stance & fight.

Wen u don't look back 2 dread ur plight,
Fearless Thou shalt be!




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U start dying the second u're born.
so don't let u life be an 80 year-long scorn.

don't be a slave 2 every rule in the book.
bcoz back on ur life u will look.

& regret chances u have never taken.
& all the things u have mistaken.

yet on the contrary I want u 2 see.
don't rob urself of whatever u want ur life 2 be.




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Pick flowers " Walk in the rain " Admire nature.
Hug trees " Kick leaves " Climb a hill.

Be happy " Nurture & nourish " ur spirit.
Believe in miracles " Listen 2 music " Write letters.

. Cook a meal for a friend " Dance under the stars".
Take a risk " Learn from mistakes " Look for joy.

Go on a holiday " Fly a kite " Splash in puddles.
Believe u can & u will.




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I luv thine inland seas
Thy groves of giant trees
Thy rolling plains
Thy rivers' mighty sweep
Thy mystic canyons deep
Thy mountains wild & steep
All thy domains




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Little I ask, my wants are few
I only wish a hut of stone
(A very plain brown stone will do
Dat I may call my own
& close at hand is such a one
In yonder street dat fronts the sun.




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If u think u are beaten, u are.
If u think u dare not, u don't
If u like 2 win but think u can't
It's almost a cinch u won't.
If u think u'll lose, u're lost.
For out in the world we find
Success begins wid a fellow's will
It's all in the state of mind.
If u think u are beaten, u are.
If u think u dare not, u don't
If u like 2 win bt think u can't
It's almost a cinch u won't.




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If u think u'll lose, u're lost.
For out in the world we find
Success begins wid a fellow's will
It's all in the state of mind.




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I m like a flower
Not sure of wen I will die.
Not sure of wen I will grow back again
Wen I m crushed wid pain & cry.




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Wat appears 2 be evil
Mst b totally avoided
Very eagerly awaiting devil
Which is by all souls dreaded




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Standing in the middle of the mountain
Up on me is falling snow
River of luv is flowing
Standing by my side, the women I know




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live like a winner
give life all u've got
make ur best shot
live like a winner
rock what u've got
jst don't get caught




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New friends & old,
Adventures so bold,
God's way of saying,
Are u still praying.




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Don't look a bit run-down,
Life has its ups & downs.
World iz full of good & bad,
All are not foe, don't go mad.




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U My friend
Some times u make me mad
bt I cant stay mad
U My friend
Sometimes I want 2 get away from u
& sometimes there's nothing I want mor than
2 talk 2 u
2 tell u abt my day
2 hear about urs
2 laugh wid u
2 tease u
2 share an inside joke
dat no one else would get
2 argue wid u
bt know we are just kidding



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May the stars carry ur sadness away
May the flowers fill ur heart wid beauty
May hope forever wipe away ur tears
&, above all, may silence make u strong




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2day I bought u flowers for the first time ever
2day I got down on my knees & 2ld u I would luv u forever
2day I knew we would never have another fight
2day I prayed for God 2 help me walk in His Light
For 2day I laid u down 2 rest
God sat it before me but I failed the test
Yes 2day I learned of things both small & great
Only 2day was just a little 2o late




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Ur dream is
ur direction
ur inspiration
ur motivation
Decide on a
dream 2day
Nothing will inspire u
in quite the same way
A dream is the only
true adventure
Wen u have a dream
u swim the rivers of pleasure



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Before u look for things 2 change...
look deep inside ur soul.
The Lord has given u all the clues...
always follow ur dream.
Perhaps u feel the end is near...
& u've done everything u can.
Never give up, anything can happen...
if u always follow ur dream.




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WIN! Never Give Up In Life. As long as we keep pushing, keep persisting, we will definitely achieve whatever we set out to achieve.



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Just smiling goes a long way toward making you feel better about life. & when you feel better about life, your life is better.



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Stop chasing someone who doesn't care about you. Turn around to see the people that are chasing you.



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Easter

Celebrate His resurrection

      Like the narratives of Christ’s birth, the accounts of His crucifixion and resurrection are so familiar that we can miss the full intensity of the unexpected event. Though Jesus warned His disciples, they were not at all prepared for the trauma of His death or the shock of His resurrection. Because we know the outcome, it’s hard for us to identify with what they must have felt.
   
      Although we may wish we could have been present at Jesus’s birth, who wishes to have seen His cruel, torturous death? Few want to read the details of what He suffered. We’ve sanitized Easter with aromatic lilies and colorful eggs.
But we must know exactly why the Father let His Son hang on the cross and why Jesus chose not to escape it. We need to grasp the glory of His resurrection. What blending of love and power can we see in these events? It’s almost as if Jesus could hear the tearful praises of future believers singing:

My sin—O, the bliss of this glorious tho’t-

My sin—not in part, but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!¹

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Controlling Relationships

What are some dynamics of an emotionally controlling relationship?
I want to look beyond some of the of verbal criticism, put downs, and judgments that are the obvious elements of emotionally abusive and controlling relationships.
I want to take some space here to outline how some of the power and illusions of power aspects affect an emotionally controlling relationship. For this I’ll use the characters of Jack and Jill to illustrate a story.
Jack and Jill are a couple. Jack gets caught up in a crisis at work and doesn’t call Jill when he said he would. Jill feels left out, rejected, and gets mad at Jack for leaving her alone. She doesn’t like being alone and holds Jack responsible for her unhappy situation. Her internal or external dialogue might be something like, “He really makes me mad when he does that.”
What is critical to note here is that the emotion of anger and unhappiness is Jill’s. The second thing to notice is that she holds Jack to be the cause responsible for her emotions.
In another scenario Jack and Jill go to a party and for some reason Jill feels embarrassed by Jack’s behavior. She is concerned that people will think poorly of Jack, and that it reflects poorly on her.
The emotion Jill feels is embarrassment and the person she holds as the cause is Jack.
So in these two cases we have identified the emotions and Jill’s belief about who is responsible. It is Jill’s belief that she is angry or embarrassed because of what Jack did or didn’t do. In Jill’s belief paradigm if Jack had done something different Jill would be happier. Jill’s internal or external dialogue might include something like, “If you hadn’t done that I wouldn’t be so upset”.
In Jill’s mind she feels abused and it appears that Jack is mistreating her emotionally. This kind of mindset sets Jill up to do a 180 and be the controlling and abusive person in the relationship. She judges, blames, and condemns Jack. Her anger at Jack is completely justified from this victim point of view.
On the flip side Jack might very well fall into the same paradigm. If it is Jack’s belief that he is the cause of someone else’s emotional reaction then he sets himself up to be controlled in the relationship. This may sound backwards. How could Jack be the one being controlled if he is the one powerful enough to cause another’s emotional reactions? The answer is guilt.
Going back to Jack and Jill’s controlling relationship: Jill is angry at Jack for not calling or doing something she perceives as embarrassing. If Jack believes he is really the cause of Jill’s pain, then, he will likely feel guilty for hurting Jill. Jack will not want Jill to have another painful emotional reaction and he won’t want to feel the guilt of causing her pain so he will look for a solution. Jack will begin to modify his behavior to avoid Jill’s emotional reactions. No doubt Jill will have input into what Jack should and shouldn’t be doing to keep her happy.
Jill will tell him to call when he says he is going to call. Jill will tell him not to do those embarrassing things. Jill will suggest, ask, or even demand that Jack change his behavior in order for her to avoid her own painful emotional wounds.
On the surface it looks like Jack has all the power over Jill’s emotions. That is why Jack feels responsible and will try hard to do things right. Of course “right” is according to Jill’s expectations and requirements. Jill plays the powerless victim that doesn’t have control over her emotions, and by doing so she can guilt Jack into modifying his behavior.
Jill might also act with anger towards Jack when she is upset. The anger might also include criticism, judgments, and put downs for his actions, behaviors or looks. If Jill is disappointed with Jack in some way, Jack may feel he should act or perform differently so Jill isn’t disappointed. Again the illusion Jack lives under is that he is determining Jill’s emotions. Every emotional reaction that Jill has sends Jack into deeper guilt, self blame, self rejection, unworthiness and insecurity.
Jill uses the emotions of gratitude, acceptance, and love to reward Jack when he does something she likes, and to become upset or depressed and sad when he does something he doesn’t’ like. Her emotions are either a pleasant reward or an unpleasant punishment to Jacks emotional body and self esteem. In this way Jill uses the power of her emotional reactions to encourage or discourage Jack’s behaviors.
At one level it looks like Jill is in reaction to Jack’s action. But if you look at Jack’s reaction to Jill’s emotion, you see her emotions as a means of control that Jack reacts to.
Illusions of Power and Control
Jack believes he is the one responsible for both of their emotions so he feels somewhat powerful in this regard. This illusion of power can be somewhat seductive. But this isn’t true. It is just the illusion of power. Jack isn’t responsible for Jill’s emotions and he can’t control her reactions. Jill can’t even control her own emotions. She is just reacting to the interpretations and core beliefs in her own mind.
Because Jack is under the illusion that he is the powerful one in this relationship he doesn’t notice that his behavior is being controlled and dictated by Jill. He doesn’t see how he is modifying his behavior to every emotional reaction Jill has, or emotion he predicts she will have.
But no matter what Jack does, he can’t seem to get it right because Jill still has emotional reactions to the interpretations and core beliefs in her mind. Nobody has control over these interpretations and so nobody has control over Jill’s emotions, not even Jill. Jack ends up walking around on egg shells becoming hyper vigilant with fear of doing the wrong thing, saying the wrong thing, or not doing the right thing and setting off her emotional reactions of anger,  disappointment, judgment, and criticisms.

Feeling Like It Is Your Fault

Jack becomes afraid of her anger and afraid of his self inflicted feelings of guilt and failure if he doesn’t behave just right. Jill persuades, and Jack agrees with the lie, that things would be just fine if he didn’t do the things that upset her. He believes that the problems in the relationship are his fault. They believe the same lie so it has the appearance of fact. Jack doesn’t see the big picture of Jill’s behavior because Jill has conditioned him to focus completely on his own behavior.

Beliefs Behind Staying in a Controlling Relationship

One of the reasons, (and there are quite a few) that it is difficult for an emotionally abused person to leave an abuser is that the illusion and feeling of power is very seductive. As Jack believes more and more that he is responsible for Jill’s emotions, he is under the illusion of being powerful in the relationship. He might feel like a failure and frustrated that nothing he does works, but at the same time is trying to fix everything about both of them. He is the one trying to fix things because he believes he is responsible for both of their problems. This kind of heroic effort feeds the false hope for a positive outcome and a positive self image as a reward.
At the same time, with the entire burden on himself, if the relationship fails he will interpret it that he failed. This is a self judgment of failure that may be too painful to consider. This logic of trying to avoid painful failure is part of what keeps him trapped in an emotionally abusive relationship looking for a solution.
If he considers what others will think of him his feeling of failure is amplified.
When you have the illusion of power over another emotions and responsibility over success and failure of the relationship it is easy to get trapped in the idea that you are the one that is failing when things don’t work out. You don’t see that your partner is not holding up their half of the relationship.
Some of these illusions fall apart when you wake up to the fact that you don’t control or determine another person’s emotional state. You are not responsible for their half of the behavior. You are not responsible for their emotional reactions of fear, anger, jealousy, sadness, and disappointment. You are not responsible for their emotions even if they say and believe you are. You are only responsible for your half.
No one can make you feel a certain emotion at any given moment. In just the same way, you can’t control the emotions another person feels. Taking responsibility for your emotions, and more importantly, not taking responsibility for anybody else’s is a be step in ending unhappy relationship dynamics.
These are just some of the dynamics of an emotionally controlling relationship and perhaps some insights on how the illusions and false beliefs in our mind keep us trapped. The key to changing these dynamics is awareness. First gain awareness of the emotions, and then awareness of where responsibility is being placed. These are a good place to start to break the cycle of unhappiness in relationship.
Whether you are the abuser or the emotionally abused that wants to break the cycle, begin by taking responsibility for your emotions, and don’t take responsibility for anybody else’s emotions.

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Self Awareness

What is Self Awareness?

 Is having a clear perception of your personality, including strengths, weaknesses, thoughts, beliefs, motivation, and emotions. Self Awareness allows you to understand other people, how they perceive you, your attitude and your responses to them in the moment. We might quickly assume that we are self aware, but it is helpful to have a relative scale for awareness. If you have ever been in an auto accident you may have experienced everything happening in slow motion and noticing details of your thought process and the event. This is a state if heightened awareness. With practice we can learn to engage these types of heightened states and see new opportunities for interpretations in our thoughts, emotions, and conversations.
Why Develop Self Awareness?
As you develop self awareness you are able to make changes in the thoughts and interpretations you make in your mind. Changing the interpretations in your mind allows you to change your emotions. Self awareness is one of the attributes of Emotional Intelligence and an important factor in achieving success.
Self awareness is the first step in creating what you want and mastering your. Where you focus your attention, your emotions, reactions, personality and behavior determine where you go in life.
Having self awareness allows you to see where your thoughts and emotions are taking you. It also allows you to see the controls of your emotions, behavior, and personality so you can make changes you want. Until you are aware in the moment of the controls to your thoughts, emotions, words, and behavior, you will have difficulty making changes in the direction of your life.
Self Awareness in Relationships
Relationships are easy until there is emotional turmoil. This is the same whether you are at work or in your personal life. When you can change the interpretation in your mind of what you think you can change your emotions and shift the emotional quality of your relationships. When you can change the emotions in your relationships you open up entirely new possibilities your life.
Having a clear understanding of your thought and, behavior patterns helps you understand other people. This ability to empathize facilitates better personal and professional relationships.
Develop Self Awareness
Self awareness is developed through practices in focusing your attention on the details of your personality and behavior. It isn’t learned from reading a book. When you read a book you are focusing your attention on the conceptual ideas in the book. With your attention in a book you are practicing not paying attention to your own behavior, emotions and personality.
Think of learning to be mindful and self aware as learning to dance. When learning to dance we have to pay attention to how and where our feet move, our hands and body motion, what our partner is doing, music, beat, floor space, and other dancers. Self awareness isn’t learned from books and the Tango isn’t either. In my years of study and working with clients I have discovered many useful techniques that accelerate the learning.
In the process of these sessions I am not telling anybody what to believe, how they should think, or what they should do. I am basically sharing with people exercises in raising their self awareness. When you become more self aware you instinctively begin to see aspects of your personality and behavior that you didn’t notice before.
If you have an emotional reaction of anger or frustration, you notice many of the thoughts and small triggers that build up towards those emotions. You also notice moments when you can change the interpretations in your mind, or not believe what we are thinking. In this heightened awareness you instinctively make better choices in your thought process long before an emotional reaction or destructive behavior.
Making changes in your behavior is much easier to do when you catch them early in the dynamic, before the momentum of thought and emotion has gathered steam.   The changes in your mind, and behavior become simple and easy steps when you develop self awareness. 
Related with http://nyagei.blogspot.com/2013/03/life-skills_14.html

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MWANAUME KWA MWANAMKE!

  Kila msichana inampasa awe na muda nyeti wa kutafakari.  Je, unataka kuolewa na kisha upewe talaka?  Katiba mpya ya Wazimbabwe ina uwezekano mkubwa wa kuhalalisha mitala iwapo michango ya mawazo kutoka kwa WAMANICALAND itakubalika. Je, unaweza kuvumilia ndoa ya mitala?  Unataka mwanaume anayesema, “nililipa mahari hivyo inakupasa ufanye kama ninavyotaka la sivyo”

     Hakuna mtu kwa akili zake timamu atajiingiza katika uhusiano usio na thamani hivi. Swali la kujiuliza ni “Kwa vipi, nitazuia uhusiano wa namna hii”? Kabla hatujakwambia ni kwa vipi, ni kukuelezea kuhusu vijana wane ambao una uwezekano  wa kukutana nao. Mwanafalsafa aliyeitwa Hippocrates alikuwa wa kwanza kuwaweka watu katika makundi manne.  Makundi hayo manne yalijulikana  kama “TEMPERAMENTS ,” “Temperament” linatoka katika lugha ya kilatini  na lina maana ya kuchanganya vitu vya maji maji  na hasa vitu vya maji maji ya mwili.  Majina manne yalimjia mawazoni ambayo ni Sanguine, Choleric, Melacholy na Phlegmatic.

 Mr. Sanguine/Bwana mtazamia mema tu:,

     Mtu huyu ana chembechembe nyekundu nyingi mwilini zinazokimbiakimbia ndani ya mishipa ya damu. Ana msisimko mkubwa wa maisha, Ukimkuta kwenye sherehe, wakati wote utakuta amezungukwa na umati wa watu. Anapotoa hadithi, kila mmoja anaacha alilokuwa akifanya na anamsikiliza kwa makini. Haina haja kusema, anafahamika na watu wengi. Wasichana wanamgombania kuliko mwingine yoyote kama utatembea naye utapata msaada wowote unaohitaji lakini hawawezi kufanya uamuzi ni lini atakuoa. Ni aina ya mtu yule ambaye ni vigumu mikono yake kukaa mbali na Matiti au sehemu nyingine nyeti za viungo vya mwili wako.

    Mr. Sanguine kwa kawaida ni msahaulifu sana na hana mpangilio. Huchelewa kila wakati katika mipango yake kwa vile anakuwa akiburudisha watu. Katika wingi wa maneno kuna dhambi. Ataishiwa na habari za kweli na ataingilia kusema visivyo.

Majaribu:

     Ukiwa una mapenzi na mtu kama huyu, una haja ya kuelewa hili, Anajaribiwa anapokuwa hajaliwi na kuhakikishiwa kukubalika. Mtu huyu anakuwa si salama kwa jinsia tofauti kwa vile anapenda matembezi na kusikilizwa. Anavutiwa na wasichana ambao wanafikiria kwa kina na atamwoa msichana wa namna hii ili kufidia mapungufu ya haraka zake na mipangilio.

Mr. Choleric/Bwana Chuki.

       Mtu huyu ana nyongo ya manjano nyingi ambayo humfanya awe mgomvi Na mwepesi wa hasira. Ni mtu wa vitendo. Kama unapenda michezo ya kuigiza ya “Rambo au Texas Ranger” basi hayuko mbali na waigizaji hawa.

Majaribu:

       Kama utakuwa umempenda mtu wa namna hii, uelewe kuwa anaweza kujaribiwa na wanawake wengine kama hutaonyesha kuridhika au kukubali analolifanya. Wanawake

wengi humdharau kwa maana anataka ashikilie kila kitu yeye mwenyewe.  Huenda umekutana na kijana huyu kanisani.  Ni mhubiri mkuu, ambaye anajitolea muda wake mwingi kujishughulisha na programu za vyama vya vijana/wazee na utoaji wa neon la Mungu ambapo hufikiria kuwa ndio yenye thamani. Lakini ni mara nyingi hana rafiki wa kike.  Anavutiwa na wanawake ambao humkubali kwa sababu anampa nafasi ya kutawala.  Wanawake wenye malengo madhubuti maishani au apendaye michezo atapata shida sana akitembea na mtu wa tabia hii.

Mr. Phlegmatic/Bwana Mtulivu.

    Kijana huyu ni mwenda pole kwa kila alifanyalo.  Ni mtulivu, mwenye subira na aliyejitayarisha.  Anawakilisha mawazo ya watu wengi walio Wakristo/Waislamu. Ni mara chache kugombana na mtu yeyote na husikiliza wakati wengine wanapoongea. Huwa hana mengi ya kusema, ila ni mwingi wa maneno ya ucheshi.  Ili mradi watu hawamshambulii kwa lolote, atakuwa na furaha.  Anapenda kulala masaa mengi kuliko vijana wengine wote.  Katika maisha yake ya utu uzima anaweza kuwa na kitambi.

Majaribu:

      Bwana huyu anataka kuheshimika tu.  Mara anapoanza kujiuliza umashuhuri wake, anajisikia kushindwa na mtu anayempa mawazo mazuri.  Huenda umekutana na mtu huyu Kanisani/Msikitini au Popote.  Ni kijana ambaye atamwomba msichana wawe wachumba na hatakama atasema hapana, atamsubiri hata miaka 2 hadi 3 ili abadili mawazo.

      Mtu huyu ni mara chache kutoa hati ya talaka.  Lakini kwa vile Bwana Mtulivu kwa kawaida huoa mwanamke mwenye uwezo wa kujitetea na mwenye msimamo, mwanamke kwa kawaida ndiye hutoa talaka..

Mr. Melancholy/Bwana Mchungu.

      Kijana huyu hutegemewa kuwa ana mchanganyiko wa “melas” kwa Kigiriki Nyeusi na “chole” au nyongo.  Yeye ni mwepesi kuwa na msongo wa mawazo na kukata tamaa. Yeye ni Bwana “Mkamilifu” na anafuatilia mambo kwa undani ambao wakati mwingine hukasirisha wengi.  Kwa kawaida ni mwenye uwezo wa akili wa kuchanganua kila kitu.  Wanamuziki na hasa wale ambao hutunga nyimbo zao wenyewe huangukia kwenye kundi hili.  Mtu wa kundi hili ana tabia isiyotabirika.  Anaweza akafurahi sana dakika moja (1), na akawa amehuzunika sana saa moja(1) baadae.

Majaribu:

      Ikiwa wewe ni rafiki wa Bwana Mchungu elewa kwamba anajaribiwa wakati usipojali kuelewa mahitaji yake kwa undani.. Kwa vile yeye ni mnyazifu na ni mfuatiliaji mzuri wa warembo wanaopenda kutembeatembea, ni mara nyingi huepuka kujizamisha kwenye uhusiano wa kuzeeshana na badala yake hujizamisha katika vipawa walivyo navyo.

Mvuto wa Jinsia Tofauti:

       Watu wa asili huvutiwa na mtu ambaye unyonge wake ndio nguvu yao na kinyume chake.  Mungu alichompangia au kumchagulia mtu ndicho kilicho chema kwetu.  Umeshangaa kwa nini wasichana walio wa kiroho huvutiwa na wavulana wa kiulimwengu?

Nitahakikishaje naolewa na bwana shihi?

        Katika kitabu cha Alberta Mataz kijulikanacho kama “Caliphate with love” hufanya mapendekezo imara ambayo hata sisi tunayapendekeza.

OMBA:

         Unahitaji kutumia magoti yako mapema maishani. Kabla kabisa hujaanza kuchumbia au kuchumbiwa inakupasa uombe kupata Ndoa yenye furaha. Kama usipomshirikisha Mungu katika kutafuta ndoa yenye furaha, kuna uwezekano kuwa utakuwa unafukuzana na upepo tu. Usianze kuwa mcha Mungu ati kwa sababu unataka mtu wa kuoa au kukuoa. Hakikisha kuwa una uhusiano wa muda mrefu katika maisha yako na Mungu. Hazipo hasara yoyote kwa dondoo hii, kama utafaulu katika sehemu hii mengine yote hufuata mtiririko kwa urahisi  katika nafasi yake.  Yesu anasema; “Hata sasa hamkuomba neno kwa jina langu; ombeni nanyi mtapewa/mtapata furaha yenu iwe timilifu. Mimi nalikuja ili wawe na uzima, kasha wawe nao tele” Yohana 16:24; 10:10

Epuka Ngono kabla ya Ndoa:

      Kila mvulana mkristo/Muislam mzuri hutegemea kuoa Bikira. Hata wale ambao sio Mabikira wenyewe wanapendelea kuoa Bikira. Mwanamke huwa na hasara zaidi kuliko mwanaume kama mambo yakienda kombo. Akipata mimba, anaacha shule/chuo kusoma; na watu humbatiza majina. Kama ulidanganywa au kwa hiari yako mwenyewe ulikubali kupoteza Ubikira wako, inakubidi ufikirie nafasi nyingine kwa kuacha ngono na kutafuta ubikira wa awamu ya pili.

       Kusudia kuutunza mwili wako kwa ajili ya mume atakayekuoa. Vijana wa kiume wengi wanaweza kuvumilia msichana ametubu njia zake mbaya za kwanza. Pia jifunze kujisamehe, wakati Mungu anaposamehe, anakusamehe kabisa. Hahitaji kufufua dhambi zako wakati wa hukumu ili akuhesabie hatia. Mshahara wa dhambi ni umauti. Je ingekuwa kurudia kitendo hiki ningerudia? Kama jibu ni hapana,basi acha kujihukumu.

Wazazi wahusishwe.

       “Kama umebarikiwa kuwa na wazazi wacha Mungu omba ushauri wao.  Waambie matumaini na mipango yako. Jifunze mafundisho waliyoyapata na kujifunza katika uzoefu wa maisha yao, mara nyingi yatakuepusha kuumia roho,”  Dondoo hii imetolewa kwa (Messages to young people) na Ellen G. White. Hii ni kwa vile wasichana wengi huanza kuchumbiwa wakati wa kubalehe mapema kabla wazazi hawajategemea kuwa wangefanya hivyo.  Wanajikuta wanakamatwa bila kujijua.

        Husisha watu wa kundi la vijana wenzako katika kila uhusiano unaojiingiza kwao (Makundi mema).  Haya yatakusaidia wakati utakapojaribiwa. Kadiri unavyoudhi watu wengi kwa uamuzi wako mbovu, ndivyo utakavyokuwa na nafasi chache za kupanga ngono kabla ya ndoa.

         Wakati mzuri wa kuwa na mahusiano ya mtu na mtu ni baada ya kumaliza masomo ya shule ya Sekondari. Jihusishe na kazi katika makundi kama huhitaji kuwa na tabia ya bandia.  Jiwekee lengo la kuwa na tabia nzuri bila kujilinganisha na mtu mwingine. Hutakuwa na maudhi mengi.

Mwishoni.

       Jaribu kuachana na vijana wa kiume ambao hawana mwelekeo katika maisha yao. Achana na vijana wa kiume wenye msisimko, wasiojizuia na wasio na afya kihisia.  Vinginevyo utaishia kuwa mama watoto wao. Vijana ambao wana aibu sana, wakaidi, wenye kushuku, wenye kugawa fedha zao ovyo ili kuwafurahisa wengine, wenye hasira ambao kila wakati wanazungumzia ngono, waongo ili kuwafanya waonekane bora na wale ambao wanakutegemea kwa kila jambo.  Vyote hivyo sio vizuri katika ndoa, usijihusishe nao, Jielimishe kuwa unataka nini kutoka kwa jinsia tofauti……’Smart love” uk. 235-236 na Nancy Pelt.

       Usisahau kuwa Kama mwanamke unaweza kudhurika zaidi kwa mapendekezo kuliko wanaume walivyo. Kama hawa unaweza kudanganywa kwa ahadi za wanaume wanaozungumza kwa unyenyekevu. Lakini usifanye uamuzi wote wa msingi wa unavyojisikia, fikiria kila kitu Mungu anaweza kukusaidia kuwa mwanamke bora zaidi.

                                                                                               Created by Michael Nyagei Magessa

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MTU KWA MTU KUHUSU NGONO!.

MTU KWA MTU KUHUSU NGONO

       “Mpenzi naomba ufanikiwe katika mambo yote na kuwa na afya kama vile roho yako ifanikiwavyo” 3Yohana 2.  Nilipotembelea Norhlea shule ya secondary ya wavulana huko Bulawayo, hili ndio lilikuwa fungu la mazungumzo yangu. Wengi wa vijana wanapita na ushindi wa juu kwa makusudi ya kufanikiwa maishani, lakini kama hawajizoezi kuepuka uasherati hawawezi kuishi muda mrefu ili kutimiza malengo/ndoto zao.  Kuna vitisho dhahiri kwa watoto wanaokua katika kipindi hiki cha historia.  Kuenea kwa UKIMWI kumekuwa tishio kiasi kwamba mtoa kodi wa Zimbabwe anakatwa aslimia 3% ya mshahara wake ili kusaidia kuchangia swala la UKIMWI. Kwa furaha ya muda mfupi, wengi wamechezea kamari furaha yao ya baadaye na umaarufu wa maisha yao. Kinachohitajika  kwa Kijana ni kuongozwa na kanuni kuliko msisimko. Je, Mungu ametupatia faida sisi vijana kufanya maamuzi maishani mwetu? Mungu katika Busara yake aliumba wanaume kama viumbe wenye akili. Hii ina maana kuwa ikiwa linaleta maana tutalifanya. Wanawake wana hisia za haraka, kama inaonekana vema watalifanya. Haileti maana kuweka tumaini lako katika kondomu.

         Sio uungwana kumpa msichana mimba wakati hujamwoa. Sio salama kutumaini silica yako ukiwa kwenye nchi ambayo mmoja katika kila watu wane ana virus vya UKIMWI 1/4. Ili kuweza kufuata kanuni kwa msimamo thabiti, inampasa kila mtu ajielewe na ajithamini.

Jifahamu wewe u nani?.

        Shetani amejaribu kutuondelea haki na uthibitisho wa kujielewa na kujifahamu nafsi zetu tangu mwanzo.  Kufahamu sisi ni akina nani ni msingi wa kutenda kulingana na mapenzi ya Mungu na sio shetani, “Wapenzi sasa tu wana wa Mungu.” Kwa vile Mungu ndiye mtawala wa Ulimwengu, lazima tuwe wana wa Kifalme. Tumepangiwa mafanikio makubwa. Kila mmoja wetu anazo angalau chembe chembe  za fahamu billion 17 kwenye ubongo wetu. Kila chembe ina uwezo wa kushughulikia aina mia mbili za habari. Wasomi wetu wametumia sana sana 10% tu ya uwezo wa ubongo wao. Kama kipaumbele cha maisha yako ni sahihi, unaweza kujumuishwa kwenye kundi hili dogo la wenye uwezo mkubwa wa ubongo. Shetani amejaribu kuzuia fikara zetu ili tusiweze kufikiria chochote kiwezacho kutufanya tufanye bidii ili kupata mafanikio ya kweli.

        Fikiria! Ni nini nitakalo ili nifanikiwe katika maisha yangu? Ni vikwazo gani vimewafanya wengine washindwe katika kujaribu kwao? Mimi nitaviepukaje?

        Katika kugundua wewe ni nani, soma vitabu ambavyo vitakusaidia kuelewa mwenendo wa binadamu. Biblia/Quran ndiyo vya kwanza na muhimu sana. Ndivyo vitabu pekee vinavyotoa taarifa yenye mamlaka ya namna ilivyofanyika tukawa Hai. Watu wengi wamebadilishwa kutoka katika tabia za kuwa wanyama au maharamia na kuwa watu wanaofanana na Kristo/Mtume kwa kujifunza vitabu hivi. Juhudi ya roho ya kinyama haiwezi kutawala mwanadamu ambaye anajifunza Biblia/Quran kwa dhati.

Jipe nafasi.

      Watu wengi husikiliza vitu vyote ambavyo ni kinyume vinavyozungumzwa kuwahusu na kuishia kusema pia mambo hasi kuhusu hao wanaomsema. Wote tunayo haki tulivyo. Tunahitaji kutambuliwa kwa mchango wetu wa namna ya pekee kwa jamii ya binadamu. Muumini wakati mwingine hujiingiza katika ngono kabla ya ndoa kwa sababu ya kujiona kuwa ana mwonekano hafifu. Hivi sivyo Mungu alivyotuumba, bali mazingira yanavyotukuza.

       Utafiti wa wanasaikolojia Fulani ulionyesha kuwa, tabia ya watu kujisikia bora, kujiamini katika mwonekano kulishuka kutoka 70% mtu akiwa na miaka mitano(5) hadi 2% katika maisha ya awali ya utu uzima. Ni wale tu walio na elimu ya kujifahamu wao ni akina nani na wanaojikubali wao wenyewe, watakuwa tayari kupokea na kukabili mambo ya hasi dhidi yao.

       Yusufu alipata uzoefu mkubwa wa kukatisha tamaa wa kuuzwa utumwani, lakini alijipa nafasi ya kuishi na ndoto zake na hatimaye akawa waziri mkuu wa Misri. Aliweza kuvumilia majaribu ya mwanamke mrembo, ingawa ilimgharimu kwenda gerezani.

Wewe ni wa namna ya peke yako.

      Bahati ya kupata mtu mnayefanana kabisa ulimwenguni ni ndogo sana, kama moja kwa milioni mia tatu(3ml). Una mchango wa pekee wa kutoa katika maisha haya.

      Kwanini ufe kabla hujawakilisha mchango wako? Epuka kuzurura au kuhusiana na watu ambao hupendezwi na viwango vya maadili yao..

      Moyo wa mwanadamu ni mnyonge, dhaifu na hauaminiki, tunavutiwa kwa nguvu zaidi na mazungumzo ya kinyama tunayoyasikia kuliko yale ya kweli. Wakati mwingine ni muhimu kuorodhesha mambo unayoyapenda kukuhusu wewe mwenyewe. Wakati unapojisikia umechukizwa na kukata tamaa, chukua orodha yako na uisome kwa sauti. Vijana wanaokwenda kwenye nyumba za ibada wana nafasi nzuri ya kuzungukwa na vijana marafiki wanaowachangamsha. Hivyo wanafikiria zaidi kuhusu masuala ya uzalishaji. Jipatie nafasi..

Acha ndoto zako zitimie.

Uwe na lengo maishani.

      Kuishi maisha yasiyo na malengo maalum ni hasara na kuishi kusikofaa. Kila mtu inampasa awe na kusudi maalum la wazi maishani mwake. Kama hujui unachotaka kufanya na maisha yako, tafuta washauri wenye busara kuliko wewe wakusaidie. Maisha bila lengo hushusha hadhi zetu na kutufanya tusiwe na tofauti na wanyama. Sishangai watu wengi wana tabia kama za wanyama, wakitawaliwa na tamaa zao.

      

Ondoa Giza.

      Thomas Edson alipokuwa anagundua mwanga wa balbu, hakuna ambacho kingemzuia kufanya hivyo. Mama yake aliambiwa na mkuu wa shule kwamba hatafanikiwa sana na mara kwa mara alimruhusu akauze magazeti. Magazeti haya yalikuwa na taarifa za ugunduzi wa karibuni na hivyo zikajenga katika moyo wa Thomas shauku ya kugundua kitu Fulani. Usiku aliweza kwenda maabara kufanya jaribio moja baada ya jingine. Baada ya majaribio mengi mama yake alijaribu kumkatisha tamaa kwa kusema alikuwa anapoteza muda. Hata hivyo Thomas alimjibu kwamba japo hadi wakati alikuwa hajafanikiwa, lakini moja ya jaribio litafanikiwa kwa hakika. Muda mfupi baada ya hapo, Thomas Edson akagundua mwanga wa balbu

     Lengo ni kitu ambacho kinakuchochea kuwa na ari ya juu kiasi kwamba hata mama yako hawezi kukuzuia kukifanya, Watu wengi wamefanya majaribio kulewa, Madawa ya kulevya na ngono, na vyote hivi havikuwaletea furaha ya kudumu. Una bahati na faida ya kuelewa ni majaribio gani hayafanikiwi. Kwa nini ufanye uchaguzi wa kipumbavu…..!!!

      Wenye busara hujisahihisha wenyewe kutokana na makosa ya kipumbavu waliyoyatenda.

Lenga mbali.

      Lengo kuu ambalo kila Mwanadamu anahitaji kulifanya katika maisha ni kuongozwa na kanuni na sio hisia. “Kusalimisha uwezo wetu wote kwa Mungu hupunguza sana matatizo ya maisha.” Inadhoofisha na kufupisha maelfu ya masumbufu na tamaa za asili za moyo.” Messages to young Lovers”. UK. 63, Ellen White

Tamaa za asili za moyo:

      Kando ya kujizuia kufanya ngono na wasichana, kijana wa kiume akubaliane na matukio machache ambayo yamekuwa wazi. Wakati wa kuandaa kuandika makala hii, kijana mmoja kutoka shule ya sekondari aliniomba nijumuishe habari kuhusu ubasha au ushoga na punyeto.

Ubasha na Ushoga.

       Wazimbabwe wengi hawafikirii hili kuwa tatizo kubwa, hivyo utafiti kidogo sana umefanywa kuhusiana na swala hili. Kwanza hebu tuweke wazi misimamo yetu, tunaamini kwamba ubasha au ushoga umelaaniwa katika Biblia Yuda anaelezea hili kuwa moja ya sababu kwa nini Mungu aliadhibu Sodoma na Gomora. Yuda 7:8, Paulo alikiita kitendo hiki kuwa sio cha kawaida na alikilinganisha na kiumbe badala ya Mungu. Hata Rais Mugabe amekemea na amelaani kitendo hiki kwa kusema kwamba sio cha Kibiblia au kiafrika. Kwa mara ya kwanza nilipokutana na matendo ya ubasha na ushoga ilikuwa kwenye shule ya misheni kama kilometa 28 nje ya Harare. Mkuu wa Bweni wa shule hii alikuwa anawapanga wavulana mstarini na kuchagua wote waliokuwa na mwonekano wa sura nzuri. Baada ya hapo aliwapangia kufanya kazi nyumbani kwake. Kuna wakati mwingine aliwabusu hawa wavulana na huenda hata kulawiti. Alikuwa ameoa mwanamke jeuri na anayemtawala kiasi kwamba wakati mwingine alimpiga mumewe.

       Nadharia nyingi zimeendelea kuelezea kwa nini watu wngine wamechagua uhusiano wa ngono ya ubasha au ushoga kuliko ule wa mke na mume. Katika utafiti wangu nimetambua kwamba wengi wa mabasha au mashoga watakuwa hivyo kutokana na uhusiano wao na rafiki wanayemwamini, kiongozi au jamaa. Hata katika nchi zinazovumilia mambo kama haya kama ulaya, ubasha au ushoga haufikiriwi kuwa sahihi kwa 66% ya wanaume na 50% ya wanawake. Huko Zimbabwe 99% ya watu wanauona Ubasha au ushoga ni mbaya. Uhusiano wa kulawitiana kwa wanaume unasemekana kuwa na maumivu na uchungu, lakini wengi wanaendelea na hivyo kwa vile wanasisimuana hadi kufikia mshindo. Baadhi ya mabasha au mashoga, wanapenda kuwa na uhusiano wa ngono wa kawaida kati ya mke na mume. Unakuta wana mke na watoto, lakini bado wanapendelea kufanya ngono na wanaume wengine. Magonjwa ya UKIMWI na Heapatitis B ni tishio la afya kwa mabasha na mashoga.

Punyeto.

      Unakumbuka kuota kuhusu picha au sinema ya ngono halafu unakakamaa kabla hujajua kuwa nguo yako ya ndani imelowana?  Vijana wengi hupitia uzoefu huu. Mamlaka ya Australia inaamini kuwa hadi 90% ya wavulana wanapitia uzoefu katika maisha yao, na 10% wanaosema hawakupitia ni waongo. Je, ndoto nyevu zinatokeaje? Wakati homoni au vichocheo vinapotolewa, mbegu za kiume hujaza ndani ya mirija ya kiume (seminal vesicles). Mirija hii ikijaa, mwili hujaribu kuzitoa na njia ya kawaida ya kuzitoa ni kwa njia ya ndoto nyevu.

     Hii yenyewe sio kosa kwa vile ni hatua ya Kibayologia, lakini inaweza kujenga tabia ambayo ina madhara na ni dhambi kwa Mungu. Punyeto au ngono binafsi hudhihirisha udhaifu kwa kijana ambaye hufinyafinya, hushikashika au kuchezea viungo vyake vya kiume ili kujitimizia haja ya ngono na kufikia mshindo. Hii sio kitu kinachofanyika bila mtu kuwa na fahamu bali hufanyika mtu akiwa na fahamu kamili.  Punyeto ina madhara kwa vile inawashawishi vijana kutafakari kuhusu ngono na kuondoa mawazo ya kutafakari kuhusu mambo mengine muhimu.  Kazi za shule zitaathirika kwa mazoea haya.

P.E

     Tatizo kubwa la punyeto ni kutoa mbegu za kiume kabla ya kufikia mshindo. Watu wengi huchukua hata dakika kumi(10) kabla ya kutoa mbegu za kiume wakiwa wanatenda tendo la ngono, lakini katika hali ya punyeto mbegu za kiume hutoka kabla ya mshindo sekunde chache baada ya kitendo kuanza.  Wanawake wengi hawawezi kuvumilia hali ya aina hii mpaka kifo kiwatenganishe wakiwa pamoja.  Kila mmoja ana haki kwa mwenzake kumfanikisha katika tendo hili, hivyo usimkatalie mwenzi wako wa baadaye kile ambacho anapaswa kukipata kwako. Kufanya mapenzi na mtu wa jinsia yako sio kawaida kwa namna yoyote.

     Kwa hitimisho, napenda kusema kwamba Mungu alituumba kwa namna ya ajabu na hivyo tunatakiwa kumcha kwa kicho. Kama tukifuata mashauri ndani ya maandiko yake katika maisha yetu hatutabadilishwa kirahisi. Ngono si kitu cha kuchangamkia. Kwa wastani waliooana wana miaka arobaini ya kufanyisha viungo vyao vya uzazi mazoezi haya. Kuharakisha zawadi hii, kunaweza kukupunguzia nafasi ya bahati yako njema. Uvumilivu ni maadili na jambo la msingi.

                                                                                               Created by Michael Nyagei Magessa

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